Movies. Title's from this, if you didn't recognize it.
So. Prometheus is, apparently officially, a prequel to Aliens. Which is great if you like those movies, but I don't, so...I dunno. Bon appetit anyway, I guess.
They're remaking Robocop, Total Recall, and Starship Troopers. Robocop is probably among the most overrated films of all time, while nobody has a terribly high opinion of Total Recall, but you could probably do a good job with it. As for Starship Troopers, at some point someone has to make a movie of that book that actually follows the book, i.e. has a Filipino protagonist and the eponymous troops in mecha.
Oh wait, the Japanese already did. Though, like Verhoeven, they did make Juan Rico white. But they didn't distort the plot to make the Federation out fascist, and unlike his worthless Dutch ass they don't owe their lives to the American military. Quite the opposite, in fact—Verhoeven's utter vileness is cast into sharp relief when you consider the Japanese didn't distort the story, and his country was never nuked by the American military.
If anyone wanted to make a science-fiction satire on Dutch society—like how the government legalized drugs just so it could profit off junkies, or how they stood up to the Nazis on euthanasia but became (along with Switzerland) one of the major destinations for "suicide tourism" in the 1990s, or how two Dutch TV hosts ate each other's flesh on TV...I beg you, dedicate it to Paul Verhoeven, with the words, "Bite us, dickweed, we don't have to do ludicrous, sub-Mad Magazine exaggerations of your country, just talking about the Netherlands sounds like a damn satire."
Ahem. Moving on, they are making two third installments of movies from a while back. First is a Riddick 3, which seems awesome—although it's got the horrible female Starbuck from the new Battlestar Galactica in it. Maybe she won't suck in a not-shit story, though.
And then there's apparently...Bill and Ted 3. Seems they'll be wondering where the hell rock went wrong, a valid question. Nevertheless, the odds of this movie being anything other than bogus are slim to nonexistent. Here's hoping I'm wrong.
Finally, there is no excuse for how badly John Carter did, especially compared to Hunger Games. Then again, perhaps market economics works, and you people are getting exactly the movies you deserve.
1 comment:
John Carter did badly compared to Hunger Games for two reasons.
First, nobody knows what the hell John Carter is, whereas the Hunger Games books have not been off the best sellers list for a single week since 2008.
Second, Disney spent 250 million dollars on John Carter, so unless it's another Pirates movie, it's not going to recoup that. Especially since Disney did nothing to promote it. Nothing. Sure there were trailers, but every movie has trailers. They turned a whole section of California Adventure into the the grid from freaking Tron Legacy and had months of nightly dance parties, and they can't even come up with a freaking LEGO tie-in for John Carter? They have only themselves to blame. Still, I want them make more movies like that, so I hope it eventually ekes out enough money.
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