You Can Tell a Lot from a Name

You know, things' names are often unindicative. So I thought I'd suggest a few little changes, that would make the names much more informative.

• Ron Paul supporters need to change their bumper stickers from "Ron Paul for America" to "RonPaulXAmerica". Like a yaoi pairing. Remember, the one after the X is the uke.


• The works of Sam Peckinpah, and his imitators, should have a line added to their credits. Namely, "Creative Consultant: John Norman".


• Hidan no Aria, AKA ToraDora II: They Fight Crime.


• What would happen if punk—which is largely of an anarcho-socialist bent, politically—got its way: BOHICA (consider the etymology of "punk"). Some animals, after all, are more equal than others.


• What we call "secularism" is, by and large, actually an agnostic jihad. It persecutes for the creed "There is no God that is knowable, and he cannot have a prophet."


• Not really a new name, but has anyone noticed the average person on the Internet is basically GIR? Complete with the love of bacon.


• I've already mentioned it, but plainly George R. R. Martin's foray into custom toilet paper should be called A Song of Rape and Torture.


• Similarly, and I'm not really sure how to work it into a name, but Ken Follett's "Pillars of the Earth" shit-o-rama is actually a screed against the Renaissance or Protestantism; everything, from the status of women to the economic arrangements of the nobles and their tenants, is portrayed in its post-Reformation, rather than its medieval, form.


• Finally, so you know how Belloc's full name is Joseph Pierre Hilaire René Belloc? Yeah, well, check this picture out, from when he was old:Yeah, apparently "Mithrandir" was also among his names.